Today is the last day of August, and so happens that it's also a day to celebrate teachers' day . Went back to my secondary school after so many years, teachers who once taught me were stunned when they saw me, coz i changed alot, too much actually .

Memories flow back like never ending stories, where we used to sit, what we used to do, where used to be our classes . Teachers come and go, so does students, but memories stayed forever, accumulating, piling up high, so high we'd only recall when we be back where it was held . The D&T room, always smell of saw dust, spent all my four years entering and exiting the room almost a hundred times over . The staff room, library, hall, HOD room and the CITEC room, and my work piece is still there, hung up nicely even though i'm long gone . Be it sad or happy, everything is exactly recalled at the back of my mind . How i wish time would rewind, even though i never regret what i went through to become what i am now, those were the happier times of my life .

Caught up with a few teachers, still the same, looks and character, what used to be our teachers now our friends .

I can't help but feel emotional today, PMS perhaps ? I don't know .

Been thinking again . . .

I noticed, i've changed again . Back then, i was a good girl, goes home after school, brought all textbooks and stuffs . Then came poly, i changed to be a promiscuous girl, dating males up to ages almost 40 years old . And right now, someone daring, playful, different yet again . I don't date flings no more . Coz i know i got you .

Ever since what happen to me at the hospital, i felt my character weakens a lot, so much so i get very very sensitive to every thing you do, and i mean every single thing, including where you look . And it's very hurtful when you lay your eyes at pretty girls, coz my confidence and trust in you drops every time i caught and know you do it . Probably dropped quite a few times by now . Till one day, when things lost what it is, i shall give up . No doubt, knowing the truth sometimes hurt . For anger means i still am over you, and no anger means i already gave up . You do the judging for yourself, for this isn't the first time happening .

Today is the 30th August 2009 . Been a no-lifer these few days, studyin like a real nerd, except that well i don't dress like one, coz if i do, i'll probably gone insane .

Logged in facebook today and saw that Shirley tagged me a note and she poked me . So i poked back . Muahaha .

I'm suppose to tag back in facebook but i don't really know how to, so i place it here . Ten questions to make things really go LOL . So here goes the questions and my answers .

1. What would you do if terence confessed love to you?

He already did, many times over .

2. Who would be a better superhero sidekick between shirley and nathan, and why?

Nathan ? Maybe because he has a more hairy leg .

3. What is adeline khng's favorite TV show or movie?

Is anime considered ? I remember sugo cara or something like that .

4. What song could be nathan's theme song?

A guy boy wished for a planet fulla unicorns, planet unicorn, unicorn planet . Give it up for feathers, ohh cadillac, and tom cruise ohhhh planet unicorn heyy .

I'm so sure it's this . =)

5. What is one thing martin isn't exactly made for?

Erm, what ? Swim suit ?

6. If you could do anything with an alien, what would it be?

Go to the alien world and and bring them all to powerhouse . Yeah .

7. Describe Roseanne in one word.

A-rose-name-anne .

8. If He-Man and God were locked in the same (really small) room for longer than a day, what would most likely happen?

The He-Man most likely become a god to be when he comes out .

9. Do you think Triangle Man is a virgin?

No offence, but i think he has 3 balls . So no virgin for him .

10. What do you think of God?

Power .

If you want yours, go to this link : -

http://mct421.deviantart.com/art/Question-Meme-Generator-69266481

Yeah, okay, time for revisions now . Ciao .

Today is the 19th August 2009 . Well well, i suppose all my friends are hardworking now at this moment, but me, as usual . I haven't felt the urge yet .

But anyway, i got lotsa photos piling high and i thought i'll give it a shot to clear it off to my online diary .

Guess i'm gonna have to print all my posts out and compile it into a book so that when i got memory loss someday i could open it up and read about my life . . . my wonderful life .

Dear finally got free after national day so i'm staying over his place during weekends again . Though we squeeze in a single bed and i always face the wall and sleep like a pole, but i prefer that way . At least, better than at my place, separated into two beds .

Got nothing better to do and finding something to do because i had nothing to do, haha, car park coupon was my toy . Tore up every single tab and tried to make it stand which was, most of all, kinda fun to me . Well, kampong kids ?

And i bet kampong kids sure have long hair, so that day my sis played with my hair because her hair was too layered to be played with . Guess what ? I'm barbie ( in ugly disguise ) for the day .

First up, she tried to tie a ribbon like Lady GaGa but seriously, you need really long hair to do it, else wise, your ribbon is gonna end up like two pop ups because it's very too small .

Like this : -

Supposed to tie it with a very nice, cute, fluffy ( so not me ) rubber band so that the middle knot of the ribbon is pretty because all you see is nice, cute, fluffy rubber band and not hair twisting around like crazy .

Here goes the girl with tortured hair, suffering hair pain ( or rather scalp pain ) .

Then when she finishes with the ribbon, she untie and i thought everything was over - hell yeah ! But i was wrong .

Here came another hair style, which, also very-not-my-style kinda style . A hair made rose to my head . Yeah, rose . I . . . rose . . . me . . fine . . . . . . . .

If you see it right like a normal person does, haha, yeah the rose is made outta braids, then curl it up and it looks like a rose to anyone .

Yeah, so end of being an ugly barbie . Curtains closed .

I know this might be very expired photographs, but please bear with me because i wasn't busy, i was just lazy and, well, not in a mood previously .

The accident he had weeks ago made him decide to re-spray his car a brand new look, adding on a matt black color to his bonnet and boot .

And this was before collection, poor car locked inside a paint-smelling room left to dry, with shit on the glass window .

And after the paint is done . New look, new smell, sure stinks .

Happy about it, i sat in that car that day wondering if i was back in my secondary school spraying paint on my 'O' levels D&T artifact .

Can't be dreaming anymore, Chantel, those days are way over .

Back to national day, the day i thought i used to love it because of school holidays, but sure not now, not anymore .

Goodie bags for the participants, guess how many are there in his boot ?

What's your answer ? NO PEEKING I TELL YA ! NO ! ! !

Okay, it's seven .

And i wonder why there're these photographs in my folder so i though i'd share them as well .

Break time for them seems like fun . I like the third picture though .

And on the actual day - 9th August 2009 .

Do you see him ? Or anyone you know perhaps ?

Take a closer look .

And closer .

And the camera couldn't take anymore closer shots, damn it .

So i ran to the other venue, where i, geniusly found them, not know it, but i found it .

Attention now . . .

And relax .

Ta dah . See that face ?

And back to attention, but i captured one guy peeking . Yiacks !

So everything came so military-ly, with the vehicles . . canons .

And a van popped outta nowhere . Funny thing is, the exterior designs asked everyone who is looking : "你吃了吗?" .

LOL !

Had quite a day that day squeezing and smelling people's underarm . Sure increases my health . . . Well, just hope i could get to work real soon .

Wish me luck ~

=)

Today is the 13th August 2009 . Photos piling up in my desktop folder but i must admit i seriously don't wanna blog about it .

I don't see any point being hypocrisy, if i'm not in a mood for happy stuffs why should i talk about it . Unless i have to hide of course .

I don't know if what i'm doing is correct at this point in time . Sometimes, i asked myself, why am i doing this, why did i go against somethings i used to respect and look upon as my principle of life . I truly lived, now i don't, i live because i had to, and if suicidal isn't a crime i would have done it months ago .

I don't know what i'm fretting about these days, but i really get pretty tensed up . It's hard to get asleep too .

I felt like watching a movie alone . Suddenly, i felt like having my own time, i have this urge to live away from you . I wish for time to rewind, not because that i could change things, but live it once more .

It's no point saying what i feel now, because i've come to this stage, upon my own decisions . I just wish, everything could be better .

Today is the 11th August 2009 . I blog because i had to, i gotta explain instead of hiding it because i just want things to get clear .

To my friend, and i hereby truly says it for what i mean - friend . You should know and it ought to be clear who it is that i am referring to now . I hereby apologize - I'm sorry, for if i did, or someone else did hurt you that caused you to be in a sorrow state . Those words are meant for him, clearly, not you . I can't describe how it felt to be insulted, as in, the words somehow really worked and poked me . My first reaction to the comment wasn't anger, it was shocked and surprised . What was initially meant for venting my anger because of my man turned out to be such case, i thought it was me who started the trouble .

That's all i gotta say for now, though there's much more, but i doubt the need to .

Putting a mask on doesn't feel good i know, because I'm doing the same for these few days, it's suffocating .

I'll leave if i don't see things better .

Today is the 9th August 2009 . And i, Chantel, am going to address on an issue which i think is ridiculous .

What i'm saying is a fact, it may not be totally true, but i can guarantee 75% of it is true .

I post this on my facebook feed : -

Chantel Anna Smith to all guys : when you're datin a girl you said i love you to, please stop bio-ing other girls . i don't care if you did it when i ain't around, but when i'm around, know your limits . or else next time, i'm gonna kiss a guy right in front of you . GUYS ARE STUPID LAME FUCKIN IDIOT KISS MY SHIT . to all single ladies, pls condsider before datin a guy .

First up, i don't care if that's your nature to do things or whatever shit . If i can do it and stop all my flings, and my man can't, it's a very big disgrace . And if other guys who happen to disagree with this, and dare say they don't bio on other girls when they're out with their partners, think again .

I proved myself right today . Wanna know how ?

Yesterday i was out with my man, and he admit that he did check girls out while shopping with me . And what's more hurting was he said his car is the first wife and that i'm the second . Well, yeah, that directly shot me at the heart because well, he meant that i ain't better than a piece of metal . So, okay, fine, i'll very much keep that in mind .

So today, i went out, i put on foundation, blushed my hair, a long sleeveless top and a super short hot pants, so short people wonder if i did wear any pants, finished it off with a pair of high heels . I hit the streets with my younger sis, easily counted more than 10 guys watching me . Out of the 10, i don't have to say it out, my own sister could tell me that almost half of them are with their girlfriends . What does it say ? And a bangla can snap a photo of me when he walk past me, sound of the capture was obviously so loud and clear . Down at the flyer, military vehicles . Military personnels in the vehicle can look and me and smile . . . even after the vehicle is moving, he turns back and look at me . Don't say i'm buay hiao bai he might be looking at other girls, because i am standing at a place where there is no crowd and definitely no one beside us . One trip to Singapore flyer and back home, guys and girls look at me, and i have a witness .

Don't give me a shit reason that 'oh, if i don't look at girls i'm a gay' or whatever lame reason . And don't ever even think about saying 'i love you' to some girl, when you still bio girls . It hurts more than ever, to see the man you love looking at other girls and checking them out just after he said i love you to you .

For guys, if you do, just say you do, don't deny and don't even think about defending yourself when you're already in a wrong . Until the day you found your love, where you will sacrifice everything at all cost, where you are willing to change your life for him or her, where you see no one else special but him or her, then should you come and defend yourself and speak up to this topic .

Because i did, i changed from a pure virgin, to a total whore slut, to now a faithful fiancee, i dare say i didn't check out other guys when i'm with you . But i saw you checking girls out, i never said nor comment, because if i did comment, i know i'll blow things up . Honestly, i avoided a lot of quarrels by keeping quiet .

I quit smoking for you .

I quit car outings for you .

I quit meeting friends which you don't like .

I quit drinkin at the pub alone for you .

I quit walking alone at night for you .

If you don't want me to go clubbing, i try to make myself sleep .

If you don't want me to do certain things, i try to tell myself away .

Did you changed or sacrifice any bit for me ? Yeah, stop your late night work and come home earlier . What else . . .

What else can i say ? How i felt ? Yeah, i felt cheated for someone that said he loved me but still checkin other girls out . Second wife of yours, well, ask yourself, do you really love me or am i over sensitive .

Today is the 5th August 2009 . Time to blog again because i see many photos in my new phone ready to be shown .

Sold my F480 for $200/- and bought a new E71 last weekend . The camera is not as good as the Samsung but definitely there're better things inside i can trust that .

So that day i waited for dear's lesson to be over at Ngee Ann and saw an impreza painted matt grey color . Thought it's interesting because most people are for matt black now, not grey .

And what's this auto gear picture for ? A taxi banged into dear's car near Tengah airbase on Monday morning . The bang created a dent on the left rear door's hinge . Rear door couldn't be closed properly and front door couldn't be open . So the doors need replacement and it's all on the taxi's . Car now in garage and dear is driving the rented Vios . And i was on the car on Monday when i blast the speakers, well, better speakers than Rio .

And i saw a 370Z the very same day ! ! ! First ever in Singapore after it was out this January .

Isn't it a beaut ? I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it !

And last weekend, off to One Fullerton for coffee at Starbucks again .

With curry puff this time .

Just love the way i enjoy my life . Smooth, relaxing and enjoyable . That's why i dislike school work, because it's totally the opposite .

Exams are coming again . Zzzzzzz .